Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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