but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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