what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
