so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it's great music for shaving your balls
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
