Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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