Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
