she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
