she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
