Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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