I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
They have beer where we have blood.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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