you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
