Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We need a shit load of segways right now
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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