New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
