Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
