i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she looked like the before picture.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
