How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize