Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
