i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
