yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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