We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
