I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
