tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
