No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
