i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
