He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
