Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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