She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
