I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
