dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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