Swine flu. Run for my life!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
