Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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