i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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