can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
