You're so nebulous sometimes
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
