Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
