literally had 100 drinks last night.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
well you can't waste a boner
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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