so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
