Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
