Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
