Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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