I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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