she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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