is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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