You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize