Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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