I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
