I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
