put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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