Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
