I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
