i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
