Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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