I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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