I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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