So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
