Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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