I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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