Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
