Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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