does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
