Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
