I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
