and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I supernannyed him into submission
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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