Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
