D3 body, D1 cock
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize