I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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