you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
