Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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