Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
