it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize