Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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