Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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