but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
