I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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