Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
