I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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