I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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